Who I Am On The Inside

I am a girly girl, wanting to come out. I like pretty things. I like traditional clothes. I like to wear jewelry. I know I am not what I appear to be on the outside. I am a feminine woman. I have class and I know how to act in any situation.

The little girl in me needs to let go of the pain. The woman who was hurt needs to not eat anymore. I don't need an armour of fat to protect me. I can shed my chrysalis and become the beautiful butterfly God intended me to be. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I can learn to trust me and others. I don't have to push people away. I can open up and love and be loved.

My Boy

I wonder about him and where he is going. He is so funny, sensitive and kind. He has lots of friends. Family doesn't seem to be too important to him. His life experiences are filled with learning experiences. He seems to take the hard way, the scenic route through life. I wish life were easier for him. I wish he would make better choices. He too brings me joy.

Empty Nest Syndrome

The reality of being alone is slowly sinking in. It doesn't thrill me. Actually it makes me want to cry instantly when I think of my son leaving in the fall. It is so hard to find balance. Being happy for him but sad for me. How did the years fly by so quickly? It was not so long ago he was just a little guy and now he is all 'growed up.' I have been trying to savour each moment with him knowing he will soon be gone. Nine months doesn't sound like that long but it seems an eternity when I think of him not being here. He is so dear to me. I likely have never loved anyone as I love this child. Our relationship is wonderful. He makes me laugh, he brings me joy, he makes me feel like I have done something right in this world. He is the best of me. He is such a great kid! How did I get so lucky to have him in my life?