How Did This Beautiful Child End Up Like This?

Today she said, 'Your size has nothing to do with your ability to date. Lots of big girls have lots of dates, what it depends on is how you feel about yourself.'

It hit me, I detest who I am. I feel like shit. I hate how I look and feel. I am grossly overweight and I look terrible.

Sometimes, I just want to die and get it over with. I know I will live to a ripe old age and the thought of going through life like this is almost more than I can bare.

Life shouldn't have to be endured but it is.

A Choice

I have to make a choice.

Do I ignore my weight and put in time?

Or do I grab hold of the horns and fight back?

Do I take a backseat tour to my own life

or do I get behind the drivers seat again?

I don't want to be an observer.

I want to participate in my life.

July 2010

Someone took $460.00 out of my line of credit and I have NO idea how I missed it. Unbelieveable.
Andrew is going to BC and home on a road trip with Papa.
Spencer is starting college in September, 2010. I am excited for him. He is growing up, slowly but surely. Gosh, I love these boys so much!
I've been invited to Italy by Lala and Pablo. I am thinking about going for a month in October. We'll see.
My friend is getting married next weekend. I bought a dress, it is real summery, orange!! I hope the weather is nice for Nicola. It is an outdoor garden wedding.